The importance of ‘guy getaways’ in middle age

Some guys get it — others don’t when it comes to the importance of having male friends and staying socially connected during middle age.

And more importantly, there’s the need to schedule time for yourself – time to get away from the stresses of work, family and other personal crises.

Bill Hall is one guy who gets it.  Hall, 72,  is a retired engineer who once held a stressful, high-powered position at a local firm.  He said he began talking up the idea of fishing getaway with his buddies just after he turned 40.

Life in middle age is more than just work

Sometimes it’s just good to do nothing. I’m talking about turning the mental motor completely off.  Just kicking back.

These days with work, outside writing activities, family, friends, church, time needed for home and yard improvements and chores – it seems there’s always something pulling at me, demanding my time and attention.

But last week, following a long-overdue surgery on my sinuses, I got to hit the “off” button.  During the time off recovering, I realized a few things I have been missing lately in life. 

Attitude is everything in life

I’m a damn lucky guy. I have a lot to be thankful for. 

Sometimes, I just need to remind myself of that. The past few months have dragged me down a bit. 

America is beautiful. Let’s keep it that way.

Every generation thinks it’s unique.

I feel my generation is.  We experienced the assassination of President John Kennedy,  the Vietnam War, Woodstock, the first man on the moon and the rise and fall of disco.

And one more thing.  We’re not litterbugs.

Riding the waves with aging parents

Middle age ushers in a multitude of changes. 

For many, it’s a time when we have to deal with the aging and death of our parents. 

So, what if I stop doing the dishes?

Every once in a while some crazy academic study touches a nerve.

Peter, an old high school buddy living in Seattle,  forwarded me a news story this week about a University of Washington study that concluded that married couples who divvy up housework along traditional gender lines have more sex than those “who share so-called men’s and women’s roles.”

The story kicks off: “Married and want to have more sex? Then ladies, do the cooking and cleaning, and guys, mow the lawn and pay the bills.”

I’ve written recently how sex has been, and continues to be an essential part of our marriage.  And truth be told, I don’t mind washing the dishes – and frequently do.

Time is on my side

Quick. What time is it?

If you’re like my kids or wife or the growing number of people in this country, you’re either reaching in your pocket for your smart phone, or frantically looking around for a digital clock.

Like many, you probably don’t even think of glancing at your wrist. No, that would be too easy. Too old fashioned.

As you probably can guess, I have an attitude about this time issue. I’m one of those individuals who still wears, and depends on his wrist watch.

Who wants it more — men or women?

How important is sex in middle age?

It depends on who you talk to. During the past seven years while doing research for my book on middle age men, I’ve talked to dozens of guys about this topic.

Generally, the answers given by married men were pretty consistent. It’s us, the guys, they said. It’s much lower on their wives’ priority lists, they said.

“Definitely me,” said a buddy of mine. “I never turn it down.”

Much to my surprise, when I talked to divorced or widowed men out on the middle age dating scene, I often got a different answer.

A different kind of New Year’s resolution — being happier in the coming year

I was a real pig over the holidays. I ate and drank with abandonment and gained eight pounds.

Now that all the partying has stopped and I’m back to work – I’m committed to losing that extra weight and then some. All my clothes are tight-fitting and I refuse to buy a new wardrobe.

I’m also committed to yet another New Year’s resolution, one that I think any middle age guy can relate to. I’m committed to bringing more happiness into my life.

Sooner or later I’m going to have to give up my love of shoveling snow

I’m not sure of its origin. Deep down, I know it’s nuts.

I’m talking about the seemingly never-ending urge and delight I get from shoveling snow.

In recent years, the urge has reached a feverish pitch with our lengthy, 60-foot by 20- foot driveway. It’s not paved and steep. It’s covered with crushed stone. And when the snow (aided by a strong wind) piles up and drifts, it can be nearly impossible to get a vehicle up to our garage.

That is, unless the driveway is cleared off.